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Parenting is a journey filled with constant learning and growth, not just for our children but for us as parents too. It's about helping our kids find happiness and develop curiosity while giving them the support they need to understand the world around them. In a world where we often feel we need to control everything, it’s important to remember that true parenting means letting our children be children. This involves giving them the freedom to explore, learn, and grow on their own terms.
Embracing Childing Over Traditional Parenting
As a Single Mom by Choice, I often get asked how my daughter Laydi is such a happy and calm baby. The truth is, Laydi was born with that personality, but I believe my job is to nurture and maintain that happiness. That's why I embrace the concept of "childing" over traditional parenting methods. Childing is about stepping back and giving our children room to try new things, make mistakes, and learn on their own. It's more about guiding them rather than controlling everything they do.
Instead of following a strict parenting plan, I focus on observing my daughter's interests and letting her take the lead. For example, if she shows curiosity about something new, I let her explore. This approach helps her develop a sense of independence and curiosity. I believe that our role as parents is not to pave the path for our children but to walk alongside them, ready to support them when they need it.
The Messy Moments That Lead to Milestones
My daughter sometimes tries to grab the spoon while I'm feeding her and a normal first thought might be to say no and take the spoon back. But instead, I take a deep breath and let her explore. Yes, it might get messy, but her curiosity and willingness to try are priceless. These are the moments when she learns and grows the most. She builds confidence every time she masters a new skill, like feeding herself. If she makes a mess, that’s okay—she’ll learn from it. Eventually, she gets tired and lets me take over, which is a moment of pride and joy for both of us.
It can be overwhelming when you start allowing this kind of exploration. Letting my daughter grab the spoon meant accepting that food would end up everywhere—on her, on me, and on the floor. But the joy on her face while she explores, is worth every messy clean-up. She is learning to coordinate her movements, understand the texture of food, and build her small muscles. These seemingly small victories are foundational blocks for her growth.
The Benefits of Letting Children Take the Lead
Of course, safety always comes first, and there are boundaries that need to be set. But allowing our children the freedom to explore, make mistakes, and learn from them is an essential part of their development. By embracing childing, we empower our children to take the lead in their exploration. They become curious, independent thinkers and problem-solvers, skills they’ll need for the rest of their lives. Our job is to be their support system, guiding them when they need it.
One of the biggest benefits I've noticed is how much Laydi enjoys learning and discovering on her own. Instead of waiting for me to introduce new experiences, she seeks them out. This proactive attitude is something I hope she carries with her through life. Whether it’s figuring out how a toy works or deciding where she wants to play, she is learning that her choices matter. And when she does need help, she knows she can rely on me to guide her, not control her.
The Rewards of Letting Go
It's not always easy. It takes patience, understanding, and a lot of deep breaths. But the rewards of watching our children thrive in an environment of freedom and support are priceless. So, the next time your child wants to try something new, take a moment to step back, take a deep breath, and let them be children. Remember, they’re "childing," and you’re there to guide and support them on their beautiful journey of learning and growth.
As parents, we often worry about making the right decisions for our child’s future. It’s tempting to control every aspect to ensure they are always safe and successful. But I’ve found that letting go, even just a little, and trusting in her abilities leads to amazing things. There have been times when I’ve been amazed at what Laydi can accomplish on her own. The reward for both of us is in those moments of independence and the pride she feels in her own achievements.
Embrace childing. Embrace the joy of watching your child grow in their own unique way. Embrace the beauty of parenthood in its truest form. The journey can be challenging, but the reward of raising an independent, happy, and confident learner is worth it.
Disclaimer: I am not a child development expert. I am just a very present and informed parent and some of the resources I love when it comes to parenting are @consciousmommy and @biglittlefeelings.
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