Can I Afford to Become a Single Mom by Choice?

Yeah, it’s a financial commitment to build a family as a single mom by choice (SMBC).

If you're considering becoming an SMBC, whether through in vitro fertilization (IVF), intrauterine insemination (IUI), adoption, or fostering, you might feel a mix of excitement and worry, especially about the costs involved. This blog focuses on the journey to becoming an SMBC—before the baby arrives—so you can plan for the financial aspects leading up to this life-changing event.  Don't let the potential expenses intimidate you. With the right planning, it's often more achievable than you might think. Let's talk about it and explore some strategies that could help you afford this life-changing journey.

Exploring Your Options to Become a Single Mom by Choice

First, let's figure out what options are on the table. Beyond IUI and IVF, which I personally went through, there's also adoption and fostering. Each has its unique set of requirements and financial considerations. For many, like me, starting with IUI might be a gentler introduction to fertility treatments before exploring the more intensive and expensive IVF. Others might find adoption or fostering to be their calling. No matter the path, careful planning is key to afford it.

My Journey with IUI and IVF

Initially, I chose to go through IUI, which is less invasive and generally more affordable than IVF. However, as you might know, IUI has a lower success rate. After 2 attempts, I transitioned to IVF.

Living in the US, where healthcare costs can be notoriously high, I decided to look abroad for my journey. I chose a clinic in Barbados, which is known for its high success rates and comparatively lower costs. This was also the place where I decided to freeze my eggs a few years prior to my SMBC journey. The savings were significant, and perhaps moving or traveling for treatment might be an option worth exploring for you too.

Adopt and Foster: Different Paths, Equally Rewarding

Adoption and fostering are beautiful alternatives to biological parenting. While the processes can be complex, many states and organizations offer financial assistance to help cover adoption fees or foster care stipends. Research thoroughly to understand these paths. Speak with adoption agencies or foster care organizations to get a sense of the costs and support available to you.

Do Your Research

Start by getting a clear cost estimate for your chosen path. Call multiple clinics, agencies, and organizations to find out the total expenses for your meds, procedures, and any additional services you might need. Sometimes we assume the worst, but you might be pleasantly surprised to find it more affordable than expected. Planning ahead and knowing the numbers can give you a clear financial target to work towards.

Plan and Prepare

Once you know the costs, start saving. Check if your health insurance covers any part of the procedure or adoption process, or if your workplace offers support. If not, consider looking for a job that does provide these benefits. Having a baby, whether through birth or adoption, is life-changing, and making these proactive adjustments can be part of your preparation for this incredible journey.

You may also, explore potential financial support options for assisted reproductive technology (ART). Some clinics offer grants or financial aid programs to help with the costs of fertility treatments. Additionally, some states have programs that can assist with the expenses of IVF and other reproductive technologies. Research these options to reduce the financial burden.

And remember, planning for when the baby is actually here is just as important. You’ll want to have some savings in place in case your work status has to change. Some SMBCs find themselves moving from full-time to part-time during pregnancy, and having that financial cushion can make all the difference.

Creative Financial Solutions

Consider payment plans that clinics or adoption agencies might offer and that can help manage some of the expenses. Avoiding debt is important because you'll need to support the costs of raising a child. But with a detailed plan in place, you can save and avoid financial strain.

Also, don’t forget that some costs can be offset by tax savings. IVF is a deductible medical expense, and there are tax credits for adoption. These tax benefits can really help reduce the financial burden, so make sure to factor them into your planning.

A New Adventure

For me, going to Barbados wasn't just a financial decision; it was a lifestyle choice. I wanted to unburden myself from ties to the US and embrace the tranquility of island living. It's amazing how a change in environment can also positively impact your emotional and mental well-being, which is necessary during any parenting process. I also believe the relaxed, vacation-like atmosphere here contributes to higher success rates.

Support and Community

Before going abroad, consider your support system. It might not be feasible for everyone to take their support system with them or leave their close family behind. So considering these aspects is also essential. Ask yourself if you are willing to travel overseas on your own to go on this journey.

Weighing All Costs

When planning, factor in all costs—procedure, meds, tests, travel, accommodation, and even the cost of sperm vials if you're using a sperm bank. The more information you gather, the better your planning and savings strategy will be.

Becoming a single mommy by choice requires careful planning and a bit of creativity. Start by getting a clear picture of your financial needs, explore all your options, and plan ahead.

While the journey might seem overwhelming, it's absolutely achievable with the right approach. Remember, having a baby or welcoming a child into your home is a transformative event that will require major life adjustments. If starting this journey is important to you, take those necessary steps confidently, and don’t look back. Make the required changes, be it a job change or even relocating, and prepare to welcome this joyous addition to your life.

If you need to discuss your journey with me, don’t hesitate to book an Ask Me Anything Session.